In The Darkness Our Ears Are Tuned


“Rejoice in the Lord always.  Again I will say, rejoice.” ~Phil. 4:4

 

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I Had To Be Buried and Die Before I Could Live

 

Are you battling with depression?  I certainly have in the past.  For me it was a time of deep dark silence.  I could not hear God, nor feel any ounce of His existence.  I could be standing in a building filled with 10,000 people and still feel completely alone.  As a matter of fact, I did so many times.  My loneliness came when I was traveling in full-time music ministry.  I remember standing on a platform to sing and share “words of hope” with the crowd before me, yet such a darkness hung over my head that I was literally unable to see the faces of the people.  I was standing at my microphone on a Sunday morning, in the beautiful state of Maine, with a haze so thick over my heart and mind that it physically caused my eyes to blur.

I was starting to get angry because I had no reason to be feeling the way I was.  God was blessing our ministry.  We were seeing so many people surrender their lives to Jesus.  They were finding hope and joy, yet I had none; at least I didn’t have the feelings of the two.  I could not pinpoint the source of my pain and this made my sadness increase all the more.  That day I told Warren I was done.  I could not continue to stand on a stage and speak if God was done talking to me.  I relied on Him to give me the words to share because He knew the state of the hearts before me.  If He was done talking to me, I was no longer going to be a part of ‘The Parker Trio.’

I continued to read my Bible though I heard and felt nothing.  I continued to plead with God to speak to me.  I so desperately wanted to hear from Him, even if He was to chastise me for something.  Often my prayers were little more than, “Please!!!!!”  The “please” was my heart crying out, asking for anything at all.  I searched my heart and tried to find a reason for His quietness but could not come to a conclusion.  I cannot tell you how many months of this gloom passed by.  All I know, is I wrestled internally and was exhausted.

Another morning came, and again I picked my Bible up with little hope of anything changing, but today was a teeny-weeny bit different.  The feeling of God’s presence came so slightly that I had to stop and lean into my Bible to listen.  I closed my eyes and held my breath to tune my ears to hear. That’s all I got that day, just a subtle nudge from the Holy Spirit to what I knew deep, deep, DEEP within; He is God, He is good, and He never truly left me.

 

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Hear The Beauty In The Darkness

 

To this day, I cannot tell you why I had to walk through that quiet season, but I can tell you that I’m thankful for it.  I learned through that storm that my relationship with God is based on much more than emotion.  As I wrestled to pray and read, God was still filling me with His words of truth – even when it all felt empty and useless.

If you are in a place of struggle and fighting for hope, keep fighting.  Like me, you may not get that “AHA!” moment of revelation where the world is suddenly bright again, but it will return little by little if you keep searching God’s word and calling to Him for help, (Psalm 121:1-3).

In Jesus name and Strength, we do not have to be tossed by the storms of life.  We do not have to be shaken or moved by the anxieties of this world.  Troubles do not have to dictate our day.  Let’s remember what God tells us; We are more than conquers.  We are seated with Christ in heavenly places, and no weapon formed against us will prosper, (Rom. 8:37, Eph. 2:6-7, Isa. 54:17).

“and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.” ~Phil. 4:7

If I am a victim, I am only so of my own willingness to accept the lie. ~Shannan Parker, Oct. 10 ‘2010

9 Comments

  1. Myles Holmes said,

    10/18/2010 at 11:50

    Another great word!
    Thank you!

  2. Angela Adams said,

    10/18/2010 at 11:50

    That really spoke to me Shannan. Thank you so much for sharing!

  3. 10/18/2010 at 11:50

    Hi Shannan, I love that in the darkness are ears are tuned, I love that verse founed inPhil.4:4 Rejoice in the Lord always, again I will say, rejoice.

    I like this part ,hear the beauty in the darkness.

    When I was in highschool it was hard for me, especially, i got so angry I bame the teacher for it, I didn’t understand the course I took, I didn’get all my credits
    to gratulate through highschool, after that I turned to Jesus ask him forgivness
    for my anger Shannan.

    Their is a song that fit’s in for this subject what you told about, the song titled: I could sing your love forever- Clinton & Loraine Erickson

  4. Jodi davis said,

    10/18/2010 at 11:50

    Oh wow this is an awesome message Love you Sha thanks for sharing !!!

  5. Rob said,

    10/18/2010 at 11:50

    Shannan, your open heart means more to people than I think you realize, thanks for sharing. one line jumped out to me, “lean into my Bible to listen”, that is an incredible sermon in 6 words!

  6. Mary Bartolo said,

    10/19/2010 at 11:50

    Powerfully moving. Just shows you we can never know what a person is walking through unless they choose to share it. God knows however. He sees into the heart. I am so glad you listened and didn’t give up. 🙂

  7. Jenn Sharpe said,

    10/19/2010 at 11:50

    Your comment, “In the darkness our ears are tuned” is such an encouragement. Last night I read in our daily Bible reading Psalm 88: 18b, “the darkness is my closest friend.” Now we know why:-), God can use this to tune our ears to Him.

  8. Jana said,

    10/19/2010 at 11:50

    WOW Sha. This is good! I think we have all had/are having those moments but no one speaks of them. Like being a Christian makes one immune to bad stuff. Which we all know is not true. Thanks for being real. It’s very encouraging!
    love ya!
    Jazz

  9. Cynthia said,

    10/20/2010 at 11:50

    When I come to read your wonderful words, you have no way to know what my struggles are in the moment. Yet my dear friend…your words heal, they give me hope and they shine the warmth of light upon me. 2 weeks ago in the middle of the night, I was woken with tremendous fear and a feeling of hopelessness upon my leg and arm issues that have been so distracting to me since July. In the midst of my panic attack, these words entered my mind “and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus” It was not long after that, I fell asleep…I found even for the moment peace and woke grateful for it! My anxiousness continued(s) but, the moment I find myself ‘tripping’ into darkness, I repeat and repeat “the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus” until the paralysis of fear is lifted. I cannot possibly express how much your heart, testimony and walk deeply impact me; other than to say “thank you, I appreciate you and love you” Cynth


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