What Do You Do With The Unplanned?


I woke up this morning fully committing this day for writing.  As I was getting my coffee, I began to ask God to give me creativity and the ability to stay focused.  Apparently He had other plans.

 

Am I The Only One Who Ever Feels Like This?

I placed my laptop on my kitchen table and began to power it up as usual.  I watched the screen light-up with a list of things on my dashboard; many things I have in the waiting to complete.  Then it happened!  I watched as the display flickered and heard a quick series of short buzzing sounds, then it went totally black.  My first thought was of the external hard-drive I bought two years ago that is still sitting in its shipping box.  I know!  I am not technically inclined, and frankly, all this stuff bores me.  I hate all the trouble shooting, meltdowns, and viruses that occur with computers.  Granted, a MAC rarely has these issues.  My notebook is 6 years old and has given me very little trouble, but still it all confuses me.

Other than my biggest issue of my life-line (A.K.A. my laptop) fuzzing out, my light went out in my closet and I have no more bulbs to replace it, my watch quit keeping time and it has a fairly new battery, after my fourth visit to the sports store I still cannot seem to get a pair of proper running shoes, a box of rice I ordered on-line bust open all over my kitchen, and has anyone noticed the price of gas and produce lately?  All these little things adding up on-top of all the usual stuff has left me a tad bit dizzy today.  I’m tempted to let all the flickering and buzzing that’s going on inside my hard-drive cause me to shutdown for a moment.

My first response was to cry in frustration, but I refrained from doing so – so far.  Then, I wanted to go back to bed and start all over, but we all know that is not an option nor a fix.  My third thought was to wait until tomorrow to deal with going to the Apple Store to hear the diagnosis of my sick G4 MacBook.  This mindset of “I’ll do it tomorrow” is why I am faced with a blank computer screen and no external back-up to begin with.  So, I went to my office PC and Googled the Apple Store nearest to me and made an appointment.  Do any of you find it funny that you have to go on-line to schedule a meeting with the computer store when your computer crashes?

There have been moments throughout this day that I will feel anxieties arise, because all this computer mess is hard for me to grasp.  I have some really big decisions to make and I want to be wise with each one.  The one thing I know I am to do this year is write.  I need my laptop so I can be mobile.  There’s always so much to do in this house that I have to pack up and get out to get my mind to focus.  I also need to get away from the weight of all the reminders of being completely alone.  I can’t run from the fact that every decision rest on my shoulders now, but it’s nice when you don’t have it staring at you all day in mockery.

Bottom line with the computer, the screen is fried but the hard-drive is not.  For this I am extremely grateful!  Lance, the tech guy, did tell me that they can no longer get parts because my computer is now considered “vintage.”  My question back to Mr. Lance, “I thought vintage was in?”  As funny as I thought I was, it took Lance a moment to agree.   There are places where I can find a screen, but do I put several hundred dollars into an “old car”, or do I invest in a newer model?  What is the best decision long-term?

Here’s what I get from today.  NOTHING is in my control.  No matter how much I plan, I am not capable of dictating everything all the time.  Yes, I think we should plan and try our best to do all we can each day, but ultimately God is the one who gives and takes away and guides every footstep.  He allows things to enter our day or not.  God does not sin against us, man does that, but He does allow things for a purpose and will work everything for our good if we let Him.

As I ran down the list of all that was going wrong today and the domino effect it is going to have on my week, I searched beyond my immediate feelings and looked for the healthy perspective.  Then all the sadness of what’s going on in Japan came to my mind.  The devastating impact of the recent earthquake and tsunami that has hit that nation caused my heart to sorrow with them.  I then gave thanks for the “trouble” I face today.  Many of our brothers and sisters in Japan are hurting.  I had to say goodbye to my husband in 2006, many over there are saying goodbye to generations of their loved ones all at once on this day in 2011.  Many more are hanging on to a thread of hope that one precious to them is still alive and not suffering.

“Then they cry out to the LORD in their trouble, And He brings them out of their distresses.  He calms the storm, So that its waves are still. Then they are glad because they are quiet; So He guides them to their desired haven.  Oh, that men would give thanks to the LORD for His goodness, And for His wonderful works to the children of men!” – Psalm 107:28-31

I’m not in control.  God is!  But, I need not procrastinate backing up my laptop any longer.  This is in my control…so far!

Do you believe that God will calm your storm?  What are you trying to control that’s weighing you down and causing anxiety?

~Shannan

2011, Keeping It Real!

All this reminds me of Francesca Battistelli’s song, “This Is The Stuff.”

12 Comments

  1. Neal Krulik said,

    03/16/2011 at 11:50

    Ok, so I’m sitting at a Ford dealership waiting for my cruiser’s oil change when I read this blog. It’s Ok Shannan. You really are funny! I laughed out loud in the showroom to your line “I thought vintage was in”. I’m still laughing 🙂

    • 03/16/2011 at 11:50

      I was really hoping vintage was still in, it would make me feel better about each passing year…lol! 🙂

  2. mnickles7 said,

    03/16/2011 at 11:50

    You know, I believe that Murphy’s Law is of the enemy. God will turn what is intended to be negative around and make it a positive. Maybe your presence made someone feel good, you never know. However, when you’re the one in the storm it’s very difficult to see the bigger picture. I get that! When I’m hurting or going through trials, I tend to see how I’m feeling & not what else God is doing. It’s always a good reminder to think about the others that have it worse. A reality check sux, but puts things into a different perspective. Any way, I hope that all made sense, I’m still half asleep. It was a great read, as usual! Be blessed girlfriend!

    • 03/16/2011 at 11:50

      Ha! I may have to agree with you Michelle! Yes, everything you said made perfect sense. Reality can truly “sux” at times. The right perspective can help get us through many of our own pains in life. Though, I don’t want to mislead people to into living in denial of their very real feelings and struggles. We all must stay balanced. If we deny our pain it will only become a toxin within that robs us of much more than a moment in time; it stands a chance of robbing us of a lifetime of happiness. Oooo, that just came to me. I think I’ll post it to FB 🙂

  3. Juliette said,

    03/16/2011 at 11:50

    I can totally relate! Thanks for making me lighten up and laugh for a second! I think of Corrie ten Boom, surviving the Nazi Holocaust and the horror of solitary confinement! She committed herself to God every moment of every day and He was faithful to never leave her nor forsake her.
    I love how you remind me to look outside the box! I love this blog! Don’t stop!
    P.S. Eric and I are celebrating 20 years of marriage today, wow, do I feel old!

    • 03/16/2011 at 11:50

      I love Corrie’s Story! I hate what she and so many others went through, but she taught us many truths through her horrific journey. God does give us ample grace and peace through every situation we will face, when we face it. Thank you for being a faithful friend Juliette!

      CONGRATULATIONS to you and Eric!!!! Wow!!! You are NOT old. I was thinking a few months ago, Warren and I would have been married 15yrs this year had he lived. I refuse to believe 35 is getting old. I may feel different the day I turn 36…LOL! Hope you two celebrate huge!

  4. Bob Teeple said,

    03/16/2011 at 11:50

    Shannan, I think your “Vintage” comment was funny too. And now, for the wisdom of the day (you may choose to laugh or not). Your apple is now rotten to the core. It is better to light one little candle, than to stumble in the closet. If the shoe doesn’t fit, that’s not your shoe. Don’t cry over spilt rice. OK, I’ll stop now….

    • 03/16/2011 at 11:50

      Thanks Bob. I’m not lighting that candle today, it may ignite my clothes!

  5. Jana said,

    03/16/2011 at 11:50

    I used to say… man I am at the bottom of the barrel and just when you think it can’t get any worse.. people start throwing garbage on top of ya!
    I say fix the computer and get an ipad… =)

    • 03/16/2011 at 11:50

      Jana, You my friend are living proof that God lifts people out from under all the garbage that others throw on-top of you. You have weathered many storms. As for the IPad, it would only frustrate me as a write without the keyboard. I’ll let you buy mine…lol!

  6. 03/16/2011 at 11:50

    Shannan, I think you wrote a good article, I agree we should let God take control, we shouildn’t control things with out being control, righgt now it is sad about Japan, all of us christians need to pray for them , some of them can’t fine there love ones, some have found there loves ones and fine out there gone , I just pray that they were saved before this happen, the ones are saved, we now there in heaven , just like when you lost Warren Shannan, we now he went to heaven don’t we, I now it’s hard to believe that he went with the Lord so fast Shannan, I’am sorry my dear friend Shannan, I won’t try to talk about so much, this might make you feel sort of sad again, we don’t want that do we, God bless you, My wife and I well continue to pray for you, you are always in our prayers Shannan, keep up the writting like you doing, I love what you been doing, when you post this on the internet Shannanparker’s Blog praise the Lord we love you Shannan.-Clinton & Loraine

  7. 03/16/2011 at 11:50

    I’m quite sad to learn that ‘vintage’ is not in, especially considering I’ve got a few on you however… what I really, really, really want to comment about is the pictures… LOVE THEM!!! The visual is just GREAT and very note worthy, in my opinion. 🙂


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