An Entry From October’s Journal

In my last blog post, “How Quickly It Can Be Stolen” I told you I was going to share with you something I had written back in October 2010.  So that I hold to my word and remain faithful, here it is…

Entered October 17 ‘2010:

Today I wrestle inside.  I find my fears creeping in, curling up alongside me as if they are welcome to be my companion.  My old-self wants to run and hide from what “she” is telling me is true.  There’s nothing but pain ahead and further loss, nothing good ever last.  After all, isn’t this the way it’s always been? But my new-self is screaming back.  “NO!”  I refuse to believe this lie.  I refuse to believe God cares so little for me.  God owes me absolutely nothing but He promises me so many wonders that my mind cannot fathom them all.  Today, as I face these feelings of fearfulness, I will choose to hope for just five more minutes.  I will choose to believe for five more minutes that God sees me and has created me for a purpose greater than this moment.

When situations seem to be covered in death, I hold on!  When dreams seem to have been ripped from my hands and heart, I won’t give up!  I must take every thought captive.  Through this I am learning to recognize the voice of the enemy.  I turn my ears away from him and listen to the voice of truth.

“For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.”  – 2 Tim. 1:7

I hear God whispering, “The second half of your life does NOT have to carry the same struggles as the first half.  This is a lie!”

“And the LORD restored Job’s losses when he prayed for his friends. Indeed the LORD gave Job twice as much as he had before.”  – Job 42:10

God makes streams in the desert.  He makes a way where there seems to be no way. (Isaiah 35:5-7)

Dear God, help me to guard my heart without rebuilding old unhealthy walls…

In my last letter to you, I talked about the disciples needing to remember what  Jesus said as they got into the boat to cross the lake.  Often we remember what God has spoken, but the enemy relentlessly screams at us in hopes that we will water the seeds of doubt he’s trying to plant.  They are nothing more than weeds ready to grow and choke out every life-giving fruit God has promised.  If in an emotional moment we nurture the weed we may just forfeit or delay our harvest.

There’s a lot of hard work from the time a farmer tills his land and sows his seed.  There’s also a time of waiting and watching over all his rigorous effort before he ever sees the first sprout break through the soil.  Even after that  young bud reaches daylight the farmer must continue to be watchful and protect his crop.  If he is faithful in his labor he will reap well for all he as sown, then his season of rest will come carrying peace and fullness.

Even though some of my fears from last October seem to have been justified, I know from past experience that those “loses” are just another prayer being answered; I just cannot fully see it yet.  I am declaring. I will hope through my pain and I will have joy through my toiling tears.  Harvest time is near.


2011, Keeping It Real!

It’s not about what I don’t know, it’s about what I do know and Who I know. Jesus!  There’s Just Something About That Name. Ooo, I miss harmony 🙂


  1. Tracey Paris said,

    03/25/2011 at 11:50

    As I read this today…I was listening to “You Never Let Go” By: Matt Redman

    If you have a chance…sit and look it up and listen to it!!! He has promised us to never let us go…through all things he holds onto us….

    Just awesome how God works…every day…I opened your email at the perfect time to pass on God reminding us of his promises!!!

    Love and Prayers

    • 03/25/2011 at 11:50

      I LOVE that song! That is so cool how God works with His timing. Miss you much dear friend!

  2. Juliette said,

    03/25/2011 at 11:50

    Francois de Fenelon, of the 17th century once stated:
    “We are a lump of clay and each stroke (from the Potter) we feel. Blow after blow descends upon us; we, the clay, do not understand how the Potter is shaping us or why He is chiseling and cutting away at us. Only the Master Potter knows that. It’s imperative, however, that we stay immovable and endure all that He sends us, because only He knows the perfect shape He is forming. Only He knows how to do it we don’t. We feel that each blow is ruining us (killing and destroying us), but the Master Potter knows it’s the best thing for us.”

    • 03/25/2011 at 11:50

      This is why He gave us the assurance of renewed strength as the eagle. He knew this would seem to be a long season for us, but when the wind shifts it comes with many beautiful promises! Amen!

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