Is It Possible To Smile Through Tears?

I am very sincere in asking the question I presented in the title of this blog, “Is It Possible To Smile Through Tears?”  Think about it…

I was sent a private message after my last post, “Holding Loosely To Grab Hold” and I wanted to share a portion of the letter with you.

“You know one of the most difficult things I have to do as a dad is to allow pain into the life of my children.

“I’ll never forget the day I had to hold Elli down and restrain her to the hospital bed so the doctors could perform the necessary test on her. We had recently discovered her brain malformations and urgently needed to put her through some very scary and painful testing. In one of these difficult moments at the hospital she cried huge tears pleading and screaming, “daddy please help me,” yet it was my hands that had to hold her down. That was a pain that ripped through my soul and something I had never felt so deeply. To watch her experience so much fear, pain, and confusion not understanding why her daddy was allowing this to happen to her. Elli was 3yrs old and for one year we lived in and out of hospitals and doctors offices and it was me, her father, that had to lead her through that moment and I still do to this day now 4yrs later.

There is no pleasure in the heart of a father when he has to lead his child through such enduring pain. He sees you, He hears you, He weeps with you, He is not cold or embolden.  His heart is not set against you.” ~Author Kept Private

I know this is exactly where I am.  Through all my tears and seemingly unheard pleas of, “daddy please help me” I KNOW GOD IS more near than a simple goosebump feeling could tell me.

I’ve prayed many times for God’s protection from all harm.  I have asked Him to shelter me from anymore counterfeits that would try to enter my life, and at the same time I ask  for Him to safeguard me from my own emotional pull.  Let me share with you just one of my many prayers for His safety after feeling blindsided this last time.

Dear God, PLEASE protect me from my emotions.  You know my heart, its wishes, and how tired I am.  I believe You are the One who has placed the desires I have deep within me.  God, I can’t take anymore fake.  Please shelter me and do not allow me to make emotional decisions.  No matter how much I wrestle through this season, I want YOU.  I want Your perfect plan for my life.  I am trusting You!

Can you hear my heart?  In my moments like I had on Easter morning, I remind myself of this prayer that I’ve prayed many times over.  Through all the breathless moments a thread of hope is weaved.  I know with every tear I cry, the Holy Spirit carries them to Jesus, then Jesus carries them to my Abba, and They cry with me.  But, after all the tears wash over the sadness and broken dreams, I see God begin to smile.  I can almost hear my companions, The Three-In-One, start to laugh as they pass the answer to the strongest angel appointed to guard me and send him on his way.  I hope, but They sustain me when I am tired.  I dream, but They see clearly the absolute wonder of my reality when tears have clouded my vision.  What better place for my beautiful future to be held for safe keeping than in the hands of the King Of Heaven?  As much as my future needs to be ready for me, I need to be ready for my future.

God will forever be teaching me something while I’m making my way through this life’s journey, but I do believe that in this moment in time, He’s restrain(ing) her to the hospital bed so the doctors could perform the necessary test on her.”  I’m sad, and I am uncertain, but I’m not scared that God is going to allow the surgeon’s knife to slip.

I tell you about my lonely moments and my emotional thoughts because I want you to see that you are not alone.  I have no doubt that our stories are different in content, but pain is pain and we all experience it.  God loves you with the same measureless love He has for me.  He longs to take away the things that bring us pain, but until that day comes, grab hold of that thread of hope that is weaving through your heavy season.  Grab hold and don’t let go!  God has wiped His tears and has begun to laugh.  Restoration is near.

Yes!  It is possible to smile through tears.  Amen!


2011, Keeping It Real!

This Is Why I Share My Real!

“Then I heard a loud voice saying in heaven, “Now salvation, and strength, and the kingdom of our God, and the power of His Christ have come, for the accuser of our brethren, who accused them before our God day and night, has been cast down.  And they overcame him by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of their testimony,” – Rev. 12:10-11

No more Social Masks!  I’m peeling it off layer by layer – learning as I go.

PS.  Easter turned out pretty nice.  I got to spend it with some wonderful people.  God hugs us in many ways!


  1. mnickles7 said,

    04/26/2011 at 11:50

    Once again, an excellent read! I agree, we can smile through tears! 🙂

  2. Juliette said,

    04/27/2011 at 11:50

    This post makes me search my own heart, your raw open emotions have caused me to reflect a little bit deeper. It is a beautiful thing to be so in touch with your reality that you and others can witness God work and change what He needs to. God always works things out in His time, you and I know this, but you have help me realize it’s o.k. to feel pain, sorrow and loneliness. This conversation has blessed me, thank you.

    • 04/27/2011 at 11:50

      Juliette, Comments like this is why I spill my mind and heart out. I felt so alone for most of my life and lived behind walls of fear, when in reality, the size of big scary giants were nothing more than an illusion once I stood up to them, then stooped down to see them. We need each other. I need you. Thank You!

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