In Silence. I did this to myself...

I share my many thoughts with all of you because it’s a healthy thing to do.  Many times I have sat in a church service, a concert, or I’ve read an article to hear a testimony told that has caused hope to rise in me.  One of the biggest forms of deception we fall for is the lie we tell ourself.  “I am the only one who deals with, struggles with, is addicted to, or has these thought…etc.”

It appears to me that all the self-help and power of positive thinking books are flying of the shelves.  It’s those, or the mystical, the ghost chasing, angel worshiping or spell casting novels that sell like hotcakes.  We search for answers to fill that void we can’t name.  We seek, desperately trying to grab hold of something that brings gratification, hoping this time we’ll be fulfilled.

With information being so readily available, we privately search our symptoms then self-diagnose.  The problem with doing this is we never get out of our head.  We never speak out loud our struggle and hurt, and never have healthy communication.

“Where there is no counsel, the people fall; But in the multitude of counselors there is safety.” – Proverbs 11:14

We cannot get counsel if we refuse to open up and talk.  We begin to self-destruct from the inside out.  All those locked up pains and struggles become toxic.  They are poison to us and those around us.  What infection ever heals without proper treatment?

A few years ago my oldest brother found a bruise on the inside of his left knee.  With each hour that passed that bruise grew more and more painful, but he chose to “man-up” and tough it out.  Over the span of several days he began to develop flue-like symptoms.  He started taking all the over the counter medications that targeted his aches and pains.  After a week of progressively getting worse and spiking a high fever, he finally called on my mom to drive him to the hospital emergency room.  He was so full of staph infection by the time he arrived in the ER that they had to rush a specialist in to find out where the source of this poison was coming from.  He was literally hours away from death.

The bruise on his knee was the result of a brown recluse spider bite.  It’s not life threatening at first bite, but if left unattended for too long and it can be deadly.  My brother never thought that the pain on his knee and the fever might be related.  He had to have emergency surgery and spent over a week in the hospital.  They had to cut open the black spot on his knee to drain the poisonous source that was slowly killing his entire body.  The specialist removed a golf ball sized puss pocket from my brothers leg.  Had it broken open at any point during his time of being tough, it would have filtered through his blood and killed him.  For an entire week, he lay in the hospital bed with a gaping hole in his leg.  They could not stitch his wound shut until they were absolutely certain that the infection was gone.  Otherwise, it would be just a matter of time before he would be back in the ER going through the same process – or worse.

Ity Bitsy Spider crawled up my brothers leg. But sadly, there was no rain to wash him out!!

Emotions left unattended or self-diagnosed can be like a venomous spider bite.  Once the poison is consumed, it won’t matter how strong or how intelligent we are, we will need to solicit the help of others.  If we emotionally close off in the painful process and stitch up the wound before each layer of healing can take place, we will eventually find that the infection has spread into other areas of our life.  The hidden things still exist, regardless of how deep we bury them.  They will continue to grow if left untreated, and they will either cripple us or kill all God intended us to be.  I think that this is the worst kind of death to experience.

I’m not at all against the positive thinking and life-skill books.  I read them.  I do have to come to a place of humility enough to accept that sometimes I need YOU too!  After all, you can learn from my imperfections also 🙂

“And let us consider one another in order to stir up love and good works, not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together, as is the manner of some, but exhorting one another, and so much the more as you see the Day approaching.” – Hebrews 10:24-25

Do you think you have poison in your system?  Do you have a story of detox that you can share?


2011, Keeping It Real!

An infection left untreated will eventually kill everything you truly long for.


  1. mnickles7 said,

    05/04/2011 at 11:50

    Great read! Wow, what your brother had gone through!!! I had gotten bitten by a brown recluse as well. It looks nasty & it’s very scary what it does. Any way, your Blogs are always a blessing & a person can tell that God guides your thoughts. 🙂 Love ya girl!!!

    • 05/04/2011 at 11:50

      Love you too Michelle! Thank You! I was praying as I wrote this that God would protect me from ever getting one of these bites. I almost posted a picture of my brothers wound, but thought I would spare those who have a weak stomach…LOL!

  2. Alicen said,

    05/04/2011 at 11:50

    I had to detox myself of a negative outlook. I had some rough things happen in my life and I had to start believing again that great things are ahead. I thought I would share a brief journal entry from my personal journal.

    “Even though I am tired and do not feel like it. I must read for at least 15 minutes. Reading is an action I can and will decide to do. Deciding to act regardless of my feelings is the decision of a champion. A champion on the way to pick up a victory flag. Well, I’m off to read”…..(time lapse in the journal….if I had great music I would insert it here …lol….ok the journaling continues)…..Well I did it. I read even though I didn’t feel like it. I made a decision and acted on it….and it helps alot!”

    I was actually reading out of a positive thinking book. I have found that this helps in the detoxification process this helps.

    • 05/09/2011 at 11:50

      I think we need the positive books to help, especially if we’re in a season of being surrounded with struggles. The key is balance, and I think 15min. is a very healthy balance. Keep journaling too! It’s another great way to get out of our heads so we can see the truth, or lie, behind a thought process. Thanks for sharing.

  3. Jana said,

    05/06/2011 at 11:50

    Wow Sha! That is awesome! This is so true. One little thing left unattended can destroy! Like a spark from a camp fire can destroy acres and acres of land and everyhting around it!

    • 05/09/2011 at 11:50

      Thanks Jana! You just summed up in two sentences what took me an entire blog to say…lol! Awesome!

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