Along A 3 Mile Journey


I left the Ipod at home and ran the 3 miles in silence.  Time alone with God is priceless.  I prayed for a few people who have been close in thought, and then I asked God for a few personal things for myself.  For me to ask for myself is a rarity.  I asked for things that my heart desires, even some earthly wants, but mostly I asked for knowledge and wisdom.  The words rolled off my tongue in between each stride and calculated breaths, and then moments of silence left room to listen.  There was a tug on my heart in a moment when all I could hear was the sound of my feet hitting the paved path, I knew there was more to ask for.

“Holy Spirit give me the words I need to pray.”

“Dear God, I’ve read that Solomon was the wisest man who ever lived because he asked for wisdom and You gave it to him.  I am asking for wisdom for the life You’ve called me to, but I am also asking for the strength of mind, heart, and body to strongly walk out this journey.  Give me courage to stand for You when others around me may not.  Fill me with Your grace and mercy for those You bring my way.  Help me to walk in boldness but let meekness and gentleness be my demeanor.  Let Your truth occupy my thoughts, Your peace fill my home, and Your love flood my heart, so that I can extend You to others.”

I ran another full lap before anymore words were spoken or heard.  I realized how I can be like a child in the backseat of a car on a long trip.  “Are we there yet? How much further?” my heart so often cries.  Then I thought about my recent travels through northern Ohio and Canada.  My round-trip total was 2500 miles, but it was in the last few miles that I was the grown woman in the front seat with my mind and body screaming, “ARE WE THERE YET?”  It would not have taken much for me to pull over and take off the safety of my seatbelt and find a hotel, but I was so close to home.

It’s often in the times of our greatest struggle, deepest pains, and when fear screams the loudest, that we are so close to breakthrough, so close to change, so close to home.

My prayers continued..

“Thank You God that this season is almost over!  I don’t know what that means or how it will look in the end, but I thank You that I am almost there.  Please do not let me forget the encouragement You’ve given to me today.  Thank You for whispering hope to my heart and telling me that I’m so close to a breakthrough.  Please guard my mind from the lies of the enemy, and keep me grounded in Your truth – even when my heart feels the weight of the unknown.”

I thought about the desires of my heart that I had asked God for at the start of my run, and then I thought about a soldier on the battlefield.  A wise soldier puts himself through vigorous training before he ever picks up his weapon for war.  At this moment I felt God’s peace in where I am in this season of waiting.  The waiting is hard, but in the wait I am actively preparing, vigorously training, for when the season changes.  I am seeking scripture and hearing testimonies of what it means to be a true woman of God.  How can I be a person of meekness and have a peace-filled home if I do not allow God to teach me and fill me now?  How can I be a strength and help to the one God gives me to walk along side, and why should I be trusted with a heart if I’m not allowing my own heart to be transformed?  With these questions always before me I keep seeking transformation.

It did not take many more steps into my run before I started to fear.  Many of my recent let downs and pains started to flood my mind.  With tears now filling my eyes, I found I was wanting to add mortar to the bricks that make up the safety walls I’ve built around my heart.  My familiar companions, fear and doubt, had caught up to me and were trying to taunt my mind.

So I chose to pray more!

“God is this fear that I am feeling Your warning?  If not, please do not let me listen to the lies the enemy so freely whispers.  Make my thoughts Your thoughts.  This season has left me tired and I don’t feel I can take much more.  Please do not let me fall.  You are my shield and protector.”

It was in this moment that God reminded me of my request made just moments before, “Please do not let me forget the encouragement You’ve given to me today…for whispering hope to my heart and telling me that I’m so close to a breakthrough”  Wow!  How quickly my feelings can lead my mind to stray from truth.

There are times when we must stay strapped into the safety of our seatbelt.  Getting out too soon could leave us just a few miles from home.

“Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life.” – Proverbs 4:23

There are also times when we must not let fear place a padlock on our safety belts.  If fear of the unknown becomes our guide we will get stuck sitting in our car even if we’ve already arrived at home, and if past failures and pains are the meditations of our mind then the blessings of the future will never be in reach.

All of these thoughts came from a short 3 mile run.  Would you like to hear my thoughts from one of my 8 mile runs?  Ha!

~Shannan

Uncompromisingly Walking With Him In 2012!

I don’t know what my round-trip total will be for this journey, but I am So Close To Home!

“Please do not let me forget the encouragement You’ve given to me today.”

5 Comments

  1. Mary Bartolo said,

    08/14/2012 at 11:50

    Very insightful Sha. I relate to the weariness of wanting a season to end and needing God’s protection. Thank you for sharing!

  2. Neal Krulik said,

    08/15/2012 at 11:50

    i havent commented on the past couple of postings because I wanted to let God do his great work in me without splattering it all publically LOL…but this is really remarkable Shannan..This is the third time that the exact prayer you have prayed is what I have prayed on the same day!!!!! You are not alone in this journey to be sure !! So much has changed in me but when i do struggle with the lies that God has left me, Im reminded of His faithfulness,,,Im reminded that God DOES have something very very incredible – and Im very close to it – I cant see it (which stinks cause it makes this so much more difficult) but i know that God is soon to cross my path with His plan…the end of this long journey…. He doesnt lie( a wise woman once told me 😉 ) …..I could truly write a book that would be incredibly captivating regarding my journey, my trials, failures, foolish actions and relationship(s), but most importantly the development and maturity of my character..the only thing we take to eternity with us

    Great Read SHANNAN!! Yr the best

    • 08/21/2012 at 11:50

      Neal, I don’t know what it’s like not to “splatter” myself publicly. Ha! Thank you, thank you, thank you, for taking the time to share this. I do believe God is walking many of us through our valleys. Notice we’re walking? He will have all the glory when the world sees when He brings us through – just a few more steps! I think you summed it up well, “but most importantly the development and maturity of my character..the only thing we take to eternity with us.” Warren left me with a lot of stuff to sort through when he died, but what he left me that’s lasting is the way he loved God, others, and me. If I can allow God to do His surgery on me and transform this heart of mine, then maybe I can leave a legacy of love too. That’s a wealth no earthly money can afford! Maybe you should write your story? 🙂

      I do appreciate you! Thank you.

  3. Alicen said,

    08/27/2012 at 11:50

    Great example of spending time with God and then renewing your mind!

    Reference: Romans 12:2 (NKJV) And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God.


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